People say your college years are the best times of your life. For many people, I’m sure they were partying like mad (so I don’t know how they would remember) and running around having uninhibited fun.
For me, if the idea of college being the best years has any ring of truth to it, it has to do with the fact that back then I had time to read and go on indulgent and vicarious journeys and adventures, staying up with a good book until two in the morning skirting no ‘grown up’ responsibilities. I just might be tired in class or at my on-campus part-time job.
Well, the fun never stops in my life because this fall I’ve done something better than travel the world (to be read with great sarcasm), but similar to living some of the greatest luxury life has to offer: I’ve been reading. No, I’m not a nerd, but I’m sure you’re thinking that I wouldn’t know fun if it bit me on my behind.
Well, taking time for yourself and to do what you enjoy really is a luxury in life. I may prefer to travel the world – and – read, but I’ll have to settle for one luxury. Actually, I’m nearing the end of book number 3. (What are you thinking? Yes, I expect some surprise, maybe even some assumptions about my life on your part. Maybe you’ll think I don’t have a TV or I don’t have a life. Or maybe you’ll think no one has that kind of time and that my magic 8 ball can create pockets of time for me to get lost in my digital books.)
Well, whatever you may think of me, my reading has lead me to experience a proverbial deer wearing glasses, similar to the dear in headlights. When it comes to reading the author’s last name for the 3 books I’ve read, there is a terrible accident of letters and pronunciation and I’m sure my ego is injured in the crash.
I’ll look her name up in the morning, since I can’t sleep and it’s 1 right now, and I’ll add it in here.
My point is the following:
It’s The Age of Authenticity and There is No Santa Clause Again
I’ve seen the happy, happy woman on the news who was holding a people magazine when Donald Trump pulled her up to his podium. The next day she was interviewed by an arrogant journalist who tried to made her look like a simpleton, but the joke was on him because she outshined him. She was still beaming from her experience on cloud 81, kinda like cloud 9 but squared, because her dream to shake Trump’s hand had come true.
As an aside, if you are like so many journalists and you don’t get the Trump phenomenon, you don’t get it and you are probably one of those people trying to make life fit in a box and trying to uphold old ways and ideas (no offense but, if you can step outside side of feeling like I’m judging you, because I’m not, then you might start to see that you do try to control life in these ways and you might start to get that a lot of us are tired of lip service and we want someone who walks the talk and who actually takes actions and makes things happen; we want someone who we can trust to lead the country for a change.)
I digress, back to the woman and the books I’ve been reading: When interviewed, she said that she lives according to the law of attraction (wait, did she say that on the news? During prime time? Is that allowed?)
Here’s the thing about law of attraction: On the one hand, it’s working for her because she’s a happy lady and she manifested a dream by shaking Trump’s hand. On the other hand, she s going to find out at some point that there’s a lot more to Santa. He doesn’t really exist and the gifts that show up come from you.
So, I can’t pronounce her last name, but I’ve been losing myself in the worlds of Jodi Picoult. In addition to liking the way she develops her stories and characters, I like her basic, contradictory style. If you know anything about me, it’s that you can’t spend time with me, watch one of my videos or read one of my blogs for very long before I’m pointing out one of life’s many contradictions, which work together. There are many paradoxes in life.
Jodi’s books play between world- they illustrate the opposite worlds of two ends of the spectrum: the Nazi and a prisoner; the young lover who is accused of murdering his girlfriend and her mother who has lost her only daughter; the young man with Asperger’s and the Sargent testifying at his murder trial wondering why so many concessions are being made for a young accused man during the trial.
Who is the hero and who is the villain? Who is right and who is wrong?
My daughter, who is still young, will ask ‘is he the bad guy’ when we’re watching a TV show and I always try to answer by pointing out that he’s the antagonist, because there shouldn’t be someone ‘we’re not supposed to like’ on the show. I point out that even good people do bad things; and the ‘bad’ guy does good things.
What movie did I recently see in which the protagonist, a different word for good guy without the judgement, pointed out that there is good and bad in all of us? Was it Horns with Daniel Radcliffe (aka Harry from Harry Potter?) Yeah, I think that was it. I recommend it. It’s bit quirky but (semi-spoiler alert) in the movie he is a young man accused of murdering his lover. People judge and blame him, making him out to be evil, which a part of him then takes on by growing horns. The idea here, of course, being that we can take on good or bad energies (which I wrote about in the GHG update if you want to read more) and we can become more of who we authentically are or we can stray from who we authentically are. Is that good or bad? Well, in the stories I’ve been reading and in this movie, the answers still not that simple. Life is life, it is a process. A journey, not a destination, if you will and, as such, we can’t limit our answer to “good” or “bad”. There’s more to it than one snap judgement.
Back To The Claus
Proceed at your own risk, because here comes my version of Jodi’s work, relative to law of attraction and life – few people see life as it truly is, and, as I said, I tend to point out those paradoxes:
There us a big flaw here in how we see, or want to see, life. An example:
A friend of mine wanted to build a new business. She was working with a marketing mentor who I felt was making promises that would break like glass. And, at the appropriate time, in the best way I could, I told my friend so because I didn’t want her to be heart-broken.
You can imagine that she spent a lot of time, hopefully not money, following the advice that was given to her and launching her new online business. After the launch, my friend disappeared into summer, no doubt recovering after working so hard for an extended time. Or withdrawing to save face. Let’s not guess- it doesn’t matter anyway.
Fast forward half a year later- I see my friend on Facebook and she’s not talking about her business at all that can see, but she’s being warmer. I don’t think she’s done well with her business so I don’t bring it up. It feels like we should pretend nothing happened.
Here’s the funny thing, you have to watch who you believe and entrust, because you are the only one you should believe in and put your faith in one hundred percent. More importantly, my friend shouldn’t feel like a failure because failure, unfortunately, is a part of life.
Failing doesn’t make us who we are or take away who we are, but try tell that to someone who’s just lost their business that had looked promising for over a year and then stopped; tell that to the young girl believing in herself to try to create her own coaching business. Try telling it to people who I’ve seen on America’s Got Talent, contestants who have the kismet, a karmatic gift and an entrancing voice, but who still don’t win.
No, no, no! I’m not saying you shouldn’t try and I’m not saying that it isn’t going to happen. But, it’s the journey, right?
What Journey Is That?
K (my husband) and I have tried to create several businesses over the years. Some have been a little successful, some we didn’t keep at long enough to be able to ascertain any failure or success; I have written books, taken people on retreats (which I love doing) and still give meditation classes. It is fair to say we have failed many times, but (true to my appreciation of contradictions) it isn’t fair to say we’ve failed. See, we have learned a lot about marketing, life and ourselves; we have had some amazing adventures and we’ve been to the other side of the world guiding our retreats.
One thing I’ve learned is that most people fail. Many times. You can chalk it up to not living law of attraction correctly, but why bother. Besides, we have to enter another factor into the equation here: life is a journey, not a destination.
Does this mean that law of attraction brought you the journey of creating something in your life (attracting love, money, a business) and you succeeded in having the journey but not the successful destination?
You could say that, but I wouldn’t say that exactly.
Jodi’s books are great reads for me because her characters aren’t black or white. They are who they choose to be and their choice can’t help but be affected by their experience, the karma in their life, but the journey is about developing you.
Me, I have many interests. Like I said, my husband and I have tried many businesses over the years. One of my favorites was when I was a jewelry designer and my jewelry was for sale on Canyon Road, one of the world’s largest art markets. However, this creative endeavor had a life span. It ran its coarse and then I moved on. This experience made me more creative, and I had a lot of fun learning about metals, semi-precious stones and such. I like knowing, thinking and feeling that I have an eye for design; I like that I am, and have been, creative.
It’s a bit like going to Disneyland or Universal Studios. You go and have a great time, but it’s a journey of rides and make-believe worlds. It’s not you moving in and living there, which would be making it your destination.
Life too is a journey. You can’t say that one experience, like my friend who is trying to build a business, is a failure or a success based on what happened to her. That would be a destination-based thought or conclusion.
A lot of people believe that law of attraction says that if you have the right energy and positive thoughts, you’ll attract what you want. Now, does that make sense? If you have the right energy, law of attraction will now become destination-oriented instead of journey-providing?
Are you seeing things a little differently? People who have kismet don’t become the next J-Lo every day; people with a strong desire to become an artist, a doctor, a coach and so on don’t necessarily reach that goal and the level of success they’d like. Law of attraction, like Santa Clause, just doesn’t bring you those destinations.
Here’s another example: I’d love to be a Carrie Bradshaw (from Sex in the City) kind of Sidewalk Café Writer. (See, I even have a fancy title for my dream). I’d love to make enough money to travel the world and write, commenting on life and the people who I observe so that you might see your life differently and empower yourself.
Truth is, I’ve self-published several books and I create videos and write blogs often because I like to. My journey is about self-expression and about processing my life (by writing or making videos about it). The more I enjoy the expression, so that I’m writing from Starbucks (not quite the world-traveling Sidewalk Café Writer I envision) the more I’m living the dream. On the other hand, if I focus on the destination of being a well-paid writer, I never get there.
Believe In You
My guidance has said that you must be-living you, or believe (you).
Life is about how we choose to see ourselves and who we choose to be. My friend isn’t a failure because her business didn’t do what she wanted it to do. She doesn’t need the money to pay the bills or feed her kids. She’s had a journey and, if she’s wise, she’s learned more about herself and she’s had fun exploring what her business was about.
The woman who shook Donald Trump’s hand surely attracted the experience, but she’s wise to be a happy person and to enjoy her life. That is what she truly keeps attracting, which happened to manifest as a wish-come-true for her.
The characters in Jodi’s books aren’t victims, even when they are imprisoned in concentration camp, because they live through the highs and lows of life while developing who they are. That’s what it’s all about.
Law of attraction isn’t meant to bring you a gift at Christmas, neither is Santa. It is meant to bring you opportunities and experiences to develop yourself. If you are lucky, you will enjoy yourself along the way and, if you are really lucky, you’ll do something you love.
Yes, we should all get to do what we love but that’s not always the journey and you can’t control the destination. Besides, you never really arrive at a destination, do you? You are always on a journey to the next experience.
So, my friend, do what you love to do and consider yourself a success if you get to coach one client; if you paint a canvas at your leisure or when you write a blog for no one but yourself.
Find that law of attraction won’t bring you anything you desire, not the money, the love or the success – and if you doubt me, just look around to people you know and ask how many of them are satisfied because most people are unhappily awaiting their destinations.
Law of attraction will, however, bring you experiences in which your journey can be all about developing you. And, if you’re thinking positively, you’re likely to have fun too.
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