Under Loss Their Is Love

It’s too bad we live in a society that is so disconnected from itself. It isn’t uncommon for people not to know their true needs, feelings and desires and this happens to us when we make the mistake of believing that we should avoid and not feel pain. If life brings you an experience, it is on your plate to savor, dislike or avoid – but the later will only starve you.

Yeah, Pain Sucks

While it’s true that discomfort, uneasiness or heart-wrenching pain totally suck – and you can feel like you are going to be consumed by the pain sometimes- there is actually nothing wrong with so-called negative feelings and emotions. Wallowing in them or not letting them go is not healthy, fun or beneficial, but feeling how you feel and then letting it flow – or pass- is beneficial. It puts you in the flow.

Actually, it does even more, you’d be surprised to find that it turns your sour life sweet! Yes, under pain there is love, joy. When I’m working with clients they are always surprised to find, taste and savor that ambrosial moment when they’ve raised the frequency of pain, suffering or other unwelcome feeling into a higher-vibrating frequency that is pleasing. Delightful!

The Loss of Love

One of my Ohana (Hawaiian word for ‘family,’ which I use to refer to my ‘spiritual’ fam’) told me that I have dealt with so much loss with my parrots, having and breeding parrots is a passion of mine, that I should write about loss. Funny, she didn’t know this blog was already in the works! Yes, this summer I’ve lost several babies, and it is agonizing. An invisible, tight fist clenches my heart when I see life that is just beginning, life that I am helping to nurture and support, go cold. Limp. My heart sinks.

Even as it is hard to breath and as tears well up in my eyes, these losses aren’t as debilitating as my Phoenix. She was one of the sweetest birds in the world! My Caique parrot was only with me for a couple of months when she passed, but I had one of the strongest bonds with her. We hated to part at night when she went back to her cage to sleep. She went to work with me – and ate a key off my keyboard! As Caiques like to do, she would come down from my shoulder and ‘surf’ on her back, cradled in one hand and asking my second hand to lend a finger for her to beak or gently ‘mouth’. A true companion, we shared heart, body and soul.

Then one morning I realized that she’d lost a lot of weight – and it was too late. Parrots are notorious for hiding their illnesses. She didn’t make it through the day, and I tried everything. It’s hard to see her picture and even harder not to miss her, even though it’s been a year. If their is such a  thing as a birdie-soul-mate….

So I fight the tears and reach my energy up, up, up. I try to focus, not on the loss and pain, but deeper into them – the love that I have for her still. The sensation of her, still sitting on my shoulder – an ethereal version of her.

If you haven’t hear it said, energy is never lost or destroyed – which I believe Einstein quoted. So Phoenix’s body is gone, planted under blossoming orchids in my back yard, but her energy has to be intertwined with mine. When I tune into her a soft sensation that all is well comes over me, a sense that she is helping watch over my parrots. Maybe she whispered the answer to some of the problems some of the babies were having in their nests with their parents.

Love Grows, And Death Is Not A Deterrent

The gift of love doesn’t end, regardless of how it feels, with death. When you focus on who you’ve lost and what you loved and still love, you can find the connection that you once had. After all, that connection was never a physical bond, it was and is an emotional and energetic bond. It is difficult to release the grasp on the idea of no longer having the person you love in their body, talking to you, hugging you. However, the energetic bond offers an endless connection that is always available, at your focal fingertips.